Today was one of the hardest days I have had as a parent. I made a mistake. Not that I haven't made any others so far, but this one bothers me more.
I keep trying to write about it but I don't even have the words. My little girl was treated badly by another child today, so much so that she was afraid, and while I did much to try to make it stop, I should have taken her home.
One of my weaknesses is that I do not do well in the middle of a difficult situation if I do not have time to mentally process what is happening, and today was a day when I should have just left rather than trying to think about how to handle a difficult and uncomfortable situation in the middle of the craziness. I should always leave first, think about the situation, and then deal with. I learned that lesson again the hard way today.
I am just glad that Phoebe was fine almost as soon as we did leave. She even sang with me in the car on the way home.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Lent
If anyone considers himself religious but does not bridle his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. James 1:26
Lent started earlier this week. When I was thinking about what I wanted to do to observe Lent this year, I wasn't excited about any of the standard things to fast from. I have done dessert, alcohol, and TV many times and I was not really sure how fasting from any of these things would help me.
I realized last Sunday that the one thing I have been having a hard time with lately is saying things I ought not to say. As I reflected on my week, I had James 1:26 running through my head. I decided that perhaps instead of fasting I would practice the discipline of silence this lent. It is an appropriate discipline for the season since in promotes reflection, meditation on my faults, and dependence on God. It is a hard discipline to practice, though, for someone who spends as little time alone as I do. I can't give up talking altogether, which means I need to be thoughtful about how I practice silence during Lent. This means trying to keep silent as much as possible when I don't need to talk, and trying to find times during the week to sit in silence. One of the other things I have done is not spoken about my practice - except right now. No one including my husband (unless he thinks to read my blog) knows I am doing this. I am only writing about it to make myself attend carefully to my progress.
The most important thing I want to do during this time is get myself out of the habit of saying things that are unnecessary and unhelpful. I would also like to be able to have more self-control as I speak to my husband when I am frustrated with him. I don't like the way I speak to him.
Five days in to Lent, and so far I am not doing great at my practice. I have certainly been reminded that I have very little self-control and that I need help.
I decided today that I need regular reminders during the day to keep an eye on my speech. I will probably set an alarm on my phone to remind myself starting tomorrow.
One thing I stumbled upon this week while I was reading that encouraged me was this:
Where there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise. Proverbs 10:19
Lent started earlier this week. When I was thinking about what I wanted to do to observe Lent this year, I wasn't excited about any of the standard things to fast from. I have done dessert, alcohol, and TV many times and I was not really sure how fasting from any of these things would help me.
I realized last Sunday that the one thing I have been having a hard time with lately is saying things I ought not to say. As I reflected on my week, I had James 1:26 running through my head. I decided that perhaps instead of fasting I would practice the discipline of silence this lent. It is an appropriate discipline for the season since in promotes reflection, meditation on my faults, and dependence on God. It is a hard discipline to practice, though, for someone who spends as little time alone as I do. I can't give up talking altogether, which means I need to be thoughtful about how I practice silence during Lent. This means trying to keep silent as much as possible when I don't need to talk, and trying to find times during the week to sit in silence. One of the other things I have done is not spoken about my practice - except right now. No one including my husband (unless he thinks to read my blog) knows I am doing this. I am only writing about it to make myself attend carefully to my progress.
The most important thing I want to do during this time is get myself out of the habit of saying things that are unnecessary and unhelpful. I would also like to be able to have more self-control as I speak to my husband when I am frustrated with him. I don't like the way I speak to him.
Five days in to Lent, and so far I am not doing great at my practice. I have certainly been reminded that I have very little self-control and that I need help.
I decided today that I need regular reminders during the day to keep an eye on my speech. I will probably set an alarm on my phone to remind myself starting tomorrow.
One thing I stumbled upon this week while I was reading that encouraged me was this:
Where there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise. Proverbs 10:19
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